I have been blogging since I was eighteen years old, away at school for the first time using LiveJournal. The only people who read my blog were a handful of friends I had grown up with, scattered around New York state mostly. I put the link on my AOL instant messenger profile, or wrote the URL down on scraps of paper for people who expressed interest. Now it's 2018, and everything is different. We create a story with what we post, and people spend so much time and effort creating a narrative for themselves, for others to consume. It's a way of telling everyone we know, have known, or may never know, what our worth is. How cool we are, what we are into, and how successful we are, are all conveyed in Instagram and Facebook posts. I remember a friend asking me in 2003 if I though it was self-aggrandizing to have a blog. Why assume that you are so interesting that people would want to read about you and your life? Now everyone has a little digital space, on so many platforms, where we can learn about them. People follow YouTube vloggers instead of television dramas. I'm not saying any of this is bad. For the most part, Instagram is a source of inspiration and gratitude for me. I've hear it being described as bragging, vapid, or a poor reflection of one's actual life. And I do agree that people tend to neglect the difficult moments. No one posts a selfie where they are crying over insurmountable bills or loneliness. I am guilty of this. The more distance I put between myself and blogging, the harder it became to write in this format. I would make excuses about having to find more direction or revamping my site first, before anyone saw my writing again. At the same time, I was writing for magazines, newspapers, blogs (other than my own), and clients, so I wasn't ignoring writing entirely. I started a new business where I take care of pets (linked in the PET CARE tab above) that took off more quickly than I could have imagined it would. Since my last post in spring 2016, I have gotten to know myself more. I learned to embrace my time alone. I have traveled to amazing places and overworked myself to the point of tears. I have surrounded myself with beautiful people I would do anything for, and learned from toxic relationships, people who took advantage of my optimism and desire to help. Not a week went by in that time that I did not think about blogging, capturing those moments, feelings, and revelations. I love the low-risk nature of writing online and I miss sharing with people. As for when my next blog will come, I don't know. I would love to commit but life moves extremely fast these days. I do know this, I will enjoy every single moment of this little life.
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January 2018
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